Hello and thanks for stopping by! I’ve been reflecting a lot this week on the book I’m writing, specifically how thankful I am that it’s starting to come to life, but unfortunately it will be a while before you can hold my words in your hands… While I work through my book’s infancy stage though, I would love to tell you where the idea was born. Curious?
It was an idea that started as a simple suggestion, one that found it’s way into one of my first newsletters, episode 2 to be exact, and since then it’s remained my favourite segment. I wasn’t sure why it resonated so deeply with me, but then that one simple suggestion blossomed into a daily practice that guided me to cultivate curiosity within all corners of my life, triggering a whole new way of being.
Since I started approaching life with this be curious attitude, my eyes and heart have opened to a greater understanding of myself, of others, and of the world around me. The resulting ideas have been ruminating within my mind, begging me to share them, and to tell my own stories too; and tell them I will, but for now, allow me to present: Where it all began:
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WEDNESDAY INSPIRATIONS: Episode 2
We’ve all been there: A victim of unspeakable rudeness, witness to an unnecessary outburst, or just confused by some bizarre behaviour. “What’s their problem,” we might say, quickly labelling them with something equally as rude or unnecessary, and carry on.
In my line of work I am surrounded by some bizarre behaviours–I currently work in a kindergarten class–they’re sweet little people learning to deal with big emotions, and it’s my job to build connections while helping them through it. It’s not an easy job, and sometimes I need to seek help.
Recently I was stumped by one little guy and looked to a coworker for advice; “What caused him to do that?” she asked. And there was nothing, no warning, no trigger, no obvious sign that he was in distress. But when I started with “there was nothing,” she held up her hand, stopping me, and reminded me to dig deeper, ask more questions, be curious–Did he have a good sleep? Did he eat breakfast? Did he have a fight with his sister? Did he hear his parents fighting? Did anything happen, big or small, that could have the slightest impact on his actions right now? Well, yah, obviously every piece of his morning is going to impact how he’s acting right now.
This conversation has been on my mind ever since. I look at people and situations now with curiosity instead of judgement, which can be especially hard to do when some guy(or gal, or whomever) is just being an asshole. Since looking at the world through a new lens I’ve noticed a couple things:
The first and most refreshing thing is that I’m not instantly irritated by seemingly stupid behaviours. That’s pretty neat. And now, instead of those irritated feelings, I find myself looking at the person and trying to imagine their story. Picturing their day up until this point, imagining what could have led to this behaviour. I wonder about the beliefs they hold, the family they have, and even how they were raised, because all of these things contributed to where we are, right now, in this moment. (I might not be CSI, but I certainly feel a little like a detective, haha!)
Beyond the detective work I also think of the bad days I’ve had, the times I acted in less than ideal ways, and the times I was a straight up cold hearted B— *ahem* Well, not a very nice person. That’s not who I am. But I have been that person too.
We all have. No one is perfect, we all make poor decisions during times of weakness. The point of this ramble is to remind you of that. Also to remind you that when another person is acting out it usually has nothing to do with you, so free yourself from wondering what YOU did. And I’m not saying you have to forgive them either, if they disrespected you, don’t feel obligated to speak sweet sentiments to them and wish them well–I’m just saying don’t fuel the fire, and definitely don’t carry their burden, just accept that they’re probably having a bad day, and move on.
If you would like to stay up to date on my adventures in curiosity, subscribe to my newsletter! You will also get an email or two every month with uplifting words of encouragement and inspiration. You can subscribe by going back to the main page, or just by clicking here. Thank you!